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M E E T   B O Y

Being the only boy in a family of girls was not easy for Boy. By the age of 27, when his voice had still failed to break, he sought the advice of a soothsayer who bestowed upon Boy {more like Boy was fleeced of £500} the wise words “suck it and see”. So Boy, being the obsequious toady he was, sucked it and saw. The mists of time have made it unclear as to what exactly Boy saw {or even what the flavour was} but he eagerly accepted the soothsayer’s offer to pay another £500 and purchased a rather fetching Stiff Upper Lip™ {SUL}. Despite the constant chaffing {and attendant suppurating pustules}, over time it has proved fit for purpose. Boy knew he was destined to work with his father in the family business, and to this day Boy still sports his SUL™ and continues to suck it up each and every day.

An Account Of A Journey In Which Boy Is Of No Help To The Baron Whatsoever
In 1901, to celebrate Congo’s independence form Belgium, Boy and The Baron travelled to Sydney by elephant { See FIG. 27 } to gather stock for their Castlemaine Vintage Bazaar. They made good time arriving into Pitt Street in just under 7 hours. Uninterestingly on their journey up the Hume they spotted an old farmer shuffling along the highway. Said farmer appeared to be in a hurry so they hoisted him up onto Clarice, their speedy pachyderm steed. An aside that is interesting: Clarice was selected for their journey as she doesn’t need too much assistance in the directions department. The farmer, or ‘Cliff’ as he insisted on being called, proved to be an intemperate passenger. It was Cliff’s excessive farting that became the unspoken ‘elephant in the room’. Semantically this made everything difficult because they were actually on top of an elephant too so no one quite knew how to broach the subject so as not to make Clarice feel uncomfortable. Upon reaching Mittagong The Baron made an executive decision and told his malodorous travelling companion: “Time for you to jump off, Cliff”. Cliff failed to see the comma and blurted out something insensitive about Clarice being an elephant. Thence he made a big fuss and insisted on alighting in the back streets away from TV cameras. Left completely agog by such a person with delusions of grandeur, Boy and The Baron breathed a sigh of relief when Cliff, fell off. TV cameras indeed! Still, anyone cogniscant in the 80s remembers Cliff and his shuffling ways.

Find what you’re not looking for.
Follow The Baron’s Instagram feed.
It’s bonkers good.

{ FIG 352zrh567 }
Boy and The Baron atop the Howdah.
Boys’ Buying Trip ~ April, 2018

M E E T   T H E   F A M I L Y